Spring Lament (25/03/03)

Following the 'Remember Love…' installation a number of events in my personal life began to affect the work. I split up with my partner of 6 years on and off and began a new relationship leading to further reflection on my own emotional patterns and actions. One of the realisations at this time was just how much my own memory is filled with sadness. The fascination with the machines and my personal sentimental journey led me to think about it in terms of attempt to hold onto something, to try and regain something no longer present and to remember those lost.
Two text pieces were written during this time, both as work in their own right, and with one in particular to really try and examine certain painful memories to try and address my own personal problems. The first text was written as an examination into the act of memory, what it means to take a sentimental journey and how it affects one emotionally. It was written randomly as a series of statements, sentences, paragraphs and single words which were then collected to form the piece as it is now. Without punctuation or any attention to grammar the text repeats in its sentiments reaffirming certain themes and ideas. The second text was, as mentioned, a more personal exploration of particular memories, and in particular those surrounding the loss of my father as a child and the recent loss of my step father.
The installation took place in a darkened room and had the two text pieces presented together. The more universal examination of the reflective process was printed onto A3 sheets and stuck together to form a large mass of text. The second text containing the more personal memories was then projected onto the printed text using an ohp. The mass of machines were placed in the centre of the room and the projector placed with them. Between the mass of machines and the text I placed a number of broken video players and amplifiers on end as symbolic headstones which cast shadows across the floor from the light of the ohp.
A sombre and atmospheric sound piece was played from minidisk hidden in the pile of machines and was formed from a treated sample from 'Sentimental Journey'. Around the edges of the room I placed 3 old record players playing particular 78 records. The records were set up to play repeatedly and there was also an old tape machine playing some of the earliest historical recordings which were downloaded from the web. The records played were - 'Memories are made of this' by Dean Martin, 'The Story of my life' by Dave King and 'I believe' by The Russian Choir of the Metropolitan of Paris.